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  • Living With BPD

    An Overview of Avoidant Personality Disorder

    avoidant personality disorder avpd quiet bpd social anxiety disorder
    This post was written by Monique Moate

    If you’re a reader of BPD Beautiful, you most probably either have borderline personality disorder (BPD) or know somebody close to you who has it. Or perhaps you’re just interested in the topic of personality disorders and want to know more. BPD is one of the best-known of these conditions. Much research in the personality disorder field has focused on it. On the other hand, avoidant personality disorder (AvPD) is a lesser-known and studied disorder. However, it frequently co-exists with BPD. Due to this common co-occurrence, it’s great to learn about this related condition.

    In this article, I provide an overview of avoidant personality disorder. I also describe how BPD can present when it co-occurs with AvPD (including a look at the “discouraged borderline” and “quiet borderline” concepts). In addition, I share thoughts on the differences between AvPD and social anxiety disorder. And finally, I share other thoughts on personality disorders, discussing how they’re diagnosed and the stigma surrounding them.

    If you believe you have BPD, AvPD, or both disorders, please don’t lose hope! There are so many sources of support, insight, and comfort out there. Many people have recovered from BPD and AvPD and have gone on to lead fulfilling and peaceful lives. (Bear in mind that there are lots of acronyms in this article! Hopefully, you’re okay with that.)

  • Dealing with BPD

    How to Make Plans Without Triggering Your Partner with BPD

    saying no to someone with borderline personality disorder living with someone with bpd bpd spouse (decorative image of house at night)
    Photo by Fabrice Villard on Unsplash

    A Common BPD Trigger Seen in Borderline Personality Disorder Relationships

    If you’re new here, I’m Audrey: a mom, wife and blogger formerly diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. My goal for this blog is to help raise BPD awareness, dispel common BPD myths and help other people with BPD and their BPD relationships. This post touches on a common BPD trigger and is written for both people with BPD and their partners. So you can easily share this post with your partner and go over it together.

    A trait of healthy relationships is spending time apart—either alone or with friends. However, going out without your BPD spouse or partner can be a huge trigger for some. Like saying no to someone with borderline personality disorder, leaving someone with BPD alone can lead to intense emotional responses or blow up fights. This isn’t because the person with BPD wants to be difficult. It’s because of their fear of abandonment.

    Even though I’ve been in therapy for over a decade and I, as of 2022, do not meet the criteria for a BPD diagnosis (after suffering with untreated BPD for 17 years), the trigger of having my husband make plans without me has only significantly improved in the last year. This was such a debilitating trigger for me for the longest time, with every single partner I had. Simply being aware of the trigger wasn’t enough to stop the feelings that ate at my core and it wasn’t enough to keep me from reacting.

    Something else had to be done.

  • Living With BPD

    I Think I Have BPD, Now What?

    what bpd i think i have borderline personality disorder
    Photo by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash

    “Do I Have Borderline Personality Disorder?”

    You’ve stumbled upon a post about borderline personality disorder, or you heard about BPD in a movie. Maybe someone you know has it, someone very similar to you. Whatever the case may be, you’ve searched ‘do I have BPD?’ or ‘I think I have borderline personality disorder’ and now you’re reading this post to find out what to do.

    First things first, don’t panic. BPD isn’t a death sentence. If you do have borderline personality disorder, you are not hopeless. In fact, you’re now one step closer to feeling better. 

    Read that again. One more time, so it sinks in. 

    I was in your place once: frantically searching up BPD blog posts, reading everything online about borderline personality disorder and reading others’ stories with BPD and comparing them to myself. It’s scary to think you might have a personality disorder. 

    The term seems foreign in your brain, much less like something you can say out loud. You may wonder if there’s something wrong with you. Or you may question yourself. Maybe you’re just overreacting. You don’t actually have BPD. There’s no way!

    In this post, we’re going to go over every step you should take if “Do I have borderline personality disorder?” or “I think I have BPD” is going through your head.