An Emotional Wellness and BPD Blog
BPD Beautiful focuses on a positive & mindful mindset and improving emotional intelligence & relationships. Some posts are written specifically for people with borderline personality disorder (BPD also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder or EUPD) and their loved ones. Other posts are written as a self reflective journal entry diving into the highs and lows of BPD recovery.
Emotional wellness means (but is not limited to) having confidence, having a steady sense of self, knowing ways to be mindful, knowing how to think positive when depressed and understanding and avoiding different types of toxic relationships.
All of these are especially hard for people with BPD. I know firsthand because I have borderline personality disorder.
I’m Audrey Harper. I run BPD Beautiful—an emotional wellness and BPD Blog. I’m a 30 something mom of a tween and the daughter of a narcissistic mother. I also have borderline personality disorder. You can read my full story here (link is currently broken as page undergoes edits).
What is BPD / EUPD?
According to the UK based mental health provider Priory Group, borderline personality disorder (BPD) or emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD) is, “[a] condition [that] typically causes individuals to experience intense and fluctuating emotions [that] can last anywhere from a few hours to several days [..] These emotions can range from extreme happiness, euphoria and self-belief, to crushing feelings of sadness and worthlessness later [that] same day.”
BPD is environmentally induced, a trigger typically takes place when there’s real or perceived abandonment or rejection which results in a BPD episode. People with BPD do not choose to behave this way and without proper treatment, their emotions and distorted thoughts are very hard to control or challenge especially in the midst of an episode.
Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder
- Intense fear of abandonment and rejection
- Frantic attempts to avoid real or perceived abandonment / rejection
- Emotional instability, mood swings, angry outbursts or rage
- “Black and white” or all-or-nothing thinking (“BPD Splitting”)
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Unstable sense of self
- Self harm or suicidal thoughts & behaviours
- Impaired social & romantic relationships with intense “highs and lows,” frequent conflict and / or break ups
- Dissociation or feeling foggy, “out of touch” during times of extreme stress
Read more about borderline personality disorder (BPD) here.
Is BPD Recovery Possible?
Yes! Recovery is possible for people living with BPD. Contrary to old beliefs in the medical world, recent research & studies of BPD have confirmed that treatment is not only possible but that BPD also has a high recovery success rate.
According to Perry D. Hoffman, Ph.D. of the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder, research conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health shows:
- After two years, more than 50% patients recover.
- After 10 years, more than 80% recover.
- 88% remain in recovery.
Is it Possible to Have a Healthy Relationship with Someone who has BPD?
Yes, it’s possible! But it’s not easy (no relationship is, but BPD can definitely complicate things). The caveat is—you can’t fix someone else’s borderline personality disorder and they can’t magically change overnight.
It also largely depends on whether each partner even wants to put the work in to change certain parts of themselves in order to get to a point where they can have a healthy relationship (remember actions speak louder than words). It’s no easy feat for either partner.
Recovery and the success of recovery is up to the person with borderline personality disorder. It’s a long road and it takes self reflection, willingness to face deep rooted fears, swallowing pride, lots of skills building, open communication, mindfulness, taking accountability and most importantly, therapy.
As for the other side of the coin—a romantic relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend (or spouse) with BPD can be a rollercoaster. It takes an immense amount of dedication to fight the BPD battle with a diagnosed loved one (it should be couple vs. BPD, not partner with BPD vs. partner without BPD). It takes patience, unconditional love, empathy, stress management and learning new ways to communicate. I’d suggest therapy for the partner without BPD as well since getting educated on BPD and learning new skills (to cope with a loved one’s BPD) are both essential to support their recovery.
It’s up to each partner to take care of their own wellbeing while providing love & support to the other. Like with any relationship, it’s a two way street. Refusing treatment or refusing to get educated on BPD (or even worse, pretending it doesn’t exist or playing into the stigma) can be (and should be) a dealbreaker. And of course, abusive behaviour (from either partner) whether it be emotional abuse, verbal abuse or physical abuse is never okay.
Why I Blog About BPD Recovery
I debated for months whether to launch a BPD blog or not. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to put my story out there. I worried about the repercussions and of the possibility of my narcissistic mother or a professional contact finding it. I worried about my family’s privacy.
In the end, I created BPD Beautiful (using a pseudonym) for a handful of reasons. They are…
- to support other people struggling with BPD as they work in their own DBT therapy and to share what I’ve been learning & what’s been working throughout my treatment. —see Interpersonal & Emotional Wellness
- to inspire those with BPD who are struggling with their day to day to take time for themselves and be mindful. —see Self Care Sunday, Yoga Flows, This Month’s Adventure, Top 5 Picks
- to show an example of how DBT treatment works for people with BPD who are afraid to get help or are only just learning of their diagnosis. —see DBT Recap
- to give loved ones a better idea (but not the end all, be all) of how to cope with borderline personality disorder and to help them in understanding BPD. —see Dealing With BPD & Living With BPD
- to help raise BPD awareness and do my part in ending the stigma. —see Living With BPD
- And the last, more personal reason was because blogging has always been something I’ve enjoyed doing. My last blog was eating disorder recovery related back when my eating disorder was my most prevalent mental illness. Blogging—and the network of bloggers I had met along the way, played a big role in my recovery (6+ years with no relapse) and helped hold myself accountable.
Categories & topics in italic above are in the works — last updated: 3/8/2022
I don’t have all the answers. I won’t claim to. I’m not a mental health expert (see my disclaimer). But I’ve been learning as I go with the help of my therapist, Ellen, and my DBT group. The support of my husband, Brian. And the motivation I get from raising my son, Bobby. Everything I have learned & experienced and everything I am learning & experiencing is being documented on this BPD blog.
Post Categories & Topics
MIND + BODY
Any posts with sensitive topics or mentions will have a Trigger Warning at the top of the post. Please read sensitive posts at your own discretion.
BPD / DBT Resources
Please see our Resources page for treatment, support and self help options for borderline personality disorder.