Struggles with BPD at Work
I am confident that my struggles with BPD and work are not personal to me, at least in regards to keeping a job. I’ve never struggled with getting a job. In fact, ironically enough, I’m a talented interviewer (most likely because I’ve had so much practice at it), and getting a job is usually not a problem for me – evidenced by the many jobs I’ve held for a short-term basis.
I’ve been questioning why I struggle so much to hold a position. Questions with the overarching theme of self-doubt and self-shame inevitably fill my mind, threatening to overwhelm me with all the superfluous sentiments of shame, bitterness, and even hatred. A balloon with too much helium will eventually pop. The once thick layer of latex becomes thinner and thinner as more helium is added. Eventually, the wall of latex will be stretched too far, and the balloon will undoubtedly pop. Likewise with my mind. After so many unnecessary paranoid thoughts, I eventually will pop too.
All You Need to Know About a ‘BPD Favorite Person’
People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often struggle to form and maintain meaningful relationships. In many cases, they may develop an intense attachment to one person in particular, known as a favorite person (or FP). This is a complex relationship that can be incredibly rewarding and yet full of difficulty for both the BPD individual and their favorite person.
In this blog post, we will explore what it means to have a favorite person relationship for those living with BPD and their loved ones. We’ll look at signs of splitting on a favorite person, how to manage challenging behaviors in these relationships, and tips for developing healthier coping strategies when dealing with difficult emotions connected to your favorite person as well as tips for the person with BPD’s loved ones. By understanding the unique dynamics of favorite person relationships, you can work together towards creating a more secure connection built on trust and respect.
From ‘Hopeless’ BPD Traits to BPD Recovery
My name is Audrey and I have borderline personality disorder (BPD). I created this blog because I want to help spread BPD awareness and help others in understanding BPD—a debilitating, life threatening and highly stigmatized condition that causes frequent and intense mood swings, all or nothing thinking, a fear of abandonment, a chronic feeling of emptiness, explosive rage and more.
The first section of the following post was started in 2020 just about one year after starting DBT. Present day takeaways written in 2022 are in the second section to show how three years of regular DBT practice can help someone living with BPD.
Currently (in Sept 2022)—I am in remission and have went from having all 9 BPD symptoms to only having 2-3 BPD symptoms. This means I, at the time, do not meet diagnostic criteria. Borderline personality disorder is treatable. This post is proof of that.
A Common BPD Trigger Seen in Borderline Personality Disorder Relationships
If you’re new here, I’m Audrey: a mom, wife and blogger formerly diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. My goal for this blog is to help raise BPD awareness, dispel common BPD myths and help other people with BPD and their BPD relationships. This post touches on a common BPD trigger and is written for both people with BPD and their partners. So you can easily share this post with your partner and go over it together.
A trait of healthy relationships is spending time apart—either alone or with friends. However, going out without your BPD spouse or partner can be a huge trigger for some. Like saying no to someone with borderline personality disorder, leaving someone with BPD alone can lead to intense emotional responses or blow up fights. This isn’t because the person with BPD wants to be difficult. It’s because of their fear of abandonment.
Even though I’ve been in therapy for over a decade and I, as of 2022, do not meet the criteria for a BPD diagnosis (after suffering with untreated BPD for 17 years), the trigger of having my husband make plans without me has only significantly improved in the last year. This was such a debilitating trigger for me for the longest time, with every single partner I had. Simply being aware of the trigger wasn’t enough to stop the feelings that ate at my core and it wasn’t enough to keep me from reacting.
Something else had to be done.
Saying no to someone with borderline personality disorder can be tricky. Enforcing boundaries can result in unpredictable reactions or “BPD episodes.” If you love someone with borderline personality disorder or have a spouse with BPD, you may regularly walk on eggshells and not know when you’ll see a glimpse of BPD’s rage or feel the effects of your loved one’s fear of abandonment. You might feel like you can’t do anything right or that you’re always setting them off. You might be emotionally exhausted and at your wits end, ready to call it quits.
Understanding BPD & “BPD Episodes”
When you don’t have the condition yourself, it’s hard to understand why your loved one with BPD has these explosive reactions when you go out without them, say no or otherwise assert your own boundaries. This “no” could be to a plan, an idea or a request. Whatever it is, you need help navigating how to say no to someone with borderline personality disorder.
You may believe your loved one is being dramatic, over-zealous or too sensitive. You may worry they’re being manipulative or controlling. You may wonder if they’re just abusive. In reality, it’s more likely their fear of abandonment and rejection has been triggered by your “no.”