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Borderline Personality Disorder and God: A Christian Perspective (In Their Words)
Trigger Warning: Christianity in a favorable light. Read at your own discretion.
It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post—a little over a year, actually. Yikes. I wanted to start this by thanking everyone who has reached out about my blog post, Borderline Personality Disorder and the Church.
The stories I’ve read have touched my heart deeply, and I’m honored that anyone would share their life with me. I’ve been incredibly encouraged by everyone’s words, and I’m so grateful that the Lord is using my story to help others.
Now to the juicy stuff! BPD and Christianity.
People with BPD often get stuck in the “all-or-nothing” thinking. BPD makes finding shades of grey nearly impossible. That’s a huge part of why maintaining healthy relationships is so difficult. As soon as someone we love does something even remotely “bad” (i.e., no response to a text, invalidating our emotions, rejections, disagreements, criticism…you get the point), our view of them changes. It happens instantly against our will. Our adult self doesn’t want this to happen—it makes us sick to our stomach with sadness—but some triggered parts grab the steering wheel from us.
* Note: we all have parts; they’re not exclusive to people with BPD. Research IFS (internal family systems) if you want to know more!
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Working with Borderline Personality Disorder: An Inside Look to BPD and Work
Struggles with BPD at Work
I am confident that my struggles with BPD and work are not personal to me, at least in regards to keeping a job. I’ve never struggled with getting a job. In fact, ironically enough, I’m a talented interviewer (most likely because I’ve had so much practice at it), and getting a job is usually not a problem for me – evidenced by the many jobs I’ve held for a short-term basis.
I’ve been questioning why I struggle so much to hold a position. Questions with the overarching theme of self-doubt and self-shame inevitably fill my mind, threatening to overwhelm me with all the superfluous sentiments of shame, bitterness, and even hatred. A balloon with too much helium will eventually pop. The once thick layer of latex becomes thinner and thinner as more helium is added. Eventually, the wall of latex will be stretched too far, and the balloon will undoubtedly pop. Likewise with my mind. After so many unnecessary paranoid thoughts, I eventually will pop too.
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Living with BPD: How BPD Contributes to My Sensitive Writing Skills (In Their Words)
The following post was originally posted on Psychreg
Writers with BPD
“For people with Borderline Personality Disorder, expressing themselves artistically can be an outlet for dealing with emotional instability, managing emotions, learning to see the world in a palette of colors (rather than in black and white), finding creative solutions to problems, and thinking outside the box. In this personal essay, I would like to shed light on how positive characteristics of the borderline trait such as intensity and passion, creativity, high sensitivity, and reactivity have been the driving force behind my career as a writer and help me to write profound and visceral articles for an audience that does not stop growing: a mental health audience!
After a series of misdiagnoses, as Borderline Personality Disorder can also have comorbidities such as depression and anxiety, I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 38. Under the guidance of my psychiatrist, I got to know Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, a psychotherapeutic approach indicated for people with high emotional dysregulation.
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BPD Episode: What It’s Like + Reaction 4 Years Later (Video)
In this video, I read my first ever blog post from 2019 detailing what a BPD episode looked like for me at the start of my BPD recovery journey. I also provide a present day (in 2023) reaction – times have surely changed.
Read the text version of my BPD episode here.
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Living with BPD: 1 Year vs. 3 Years of DBT for BPD Recovery
From ‘Hopeless’ BPD Traits to BPD Recovery
My name is Audrey and I have borderline personality disorder (BPD). I created this blog because I want to help spread BPD awareness and help others in understanding BPD—a debilitating, life threatening and highly stigmatized condition that causes frequent and intense mood swings, all or nothing thinking, a fear of abandonment, a chronic feeling of emptiness, explosive rage and more.
The first section of the following post was started in 2020 just about one year after starting DBT. Present day takeaways written in 2022 are in the second section to show how three years of regular DBT practice can help someone living with BPD.
Currently (in Sept 2022)—I am in remission and have went from having all 9 BPD symptoms to only having 2-3 BPD symptoms. This means I, at the time, do not meet diagnostic criteria. Borderline personality disorder is treatable. This post is proof of that.
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Borderline Personality Disorder and the Church: Christians with BPD
Trigger Warning: Christianity in a favorable light, struggles with belief in God, fitting in at church, splitting, BPD symptoms. Read at your own discretion.
You can’t understand me without understanding borderline personality disorder.
I’m still wrestling with feeling like I don’t fit in and that I’m misunderstood. I don’t know anyone who can relate to me on the level I so deeply desire. I know of one other person with BPD, and they’re not even a Christian. I don’t know a single Christian with BPD. Imagine that for a second—countless individuals struggle with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and so on, but rarely are individuals diagnosed with BPD who still pursue the Lord.
I crave a community that I’ll never have–one that truly understands and can relate to me. I have to mourn that. It’s like I have no one with whom I can process the intense feelings and emotions I experience. Yes, I have a counselor, but her role is to help me process my trauma. Obviously, that will help with these emotions/feelings over time, but my counselor can’t make BPD disappear. She can’t make the symptoms I battle daily disappear. She can’t relate to me and understand how much harder it is for someone with BPD to follow the Lord than for someone who doesn’t. I can’t even believe the nice things people say about me. Can you imagine how much harder it is to believe that a God I can’t see loves me and calls me His? It’s nearly impossible.
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An Overview of Avoidant Personality Disorder
If you’re a reader of BPD Beautiful, you most probably either have borderline personality disorder (BPD) or know somebody close to you who has it. Or perhaps you’re just interested in the topic of personality disorders and want to know more. BPD is one of the best-known of these conditions. Much research in the personality disorder field has focused on it. On the other hand, avoidant personality disorder (AvPD) is a lesser-known and studied disorder. However, it frequently co-exists with BPD. Due to this common co-occurrence, it’s great to learn about this related condition.
In this article, I provide an overview of avoidant personality disorder. I also describe how BPD can present when it co-occurs with AvPD (including a look at the “discouraged borderline” and “quiet borderline” concepts). In addition, I share thoughts on the differences between AvPD and social anxiety disorder. And finally, I share other thoughts on personality disorders, discussing how they’re diagnosed and the stigma surrounding them.
If you believe you have BPD, AvPD, or both disorders, please don’t lose hope! There are so many sources of support, insight, and comfort out there. Many people have recovered from BPD and AvPD and have gone on to lead fulfilling and peaceful lives. (Bear in mind that there are lots of acronyms in this article! Hopefully, you’re okay with that.)