Living With BPD

BPD Episode: What It’s Like + Reaction 4 Years Later (Video)

In this video, I read my first ever blog post from 2019 detailing what a BPD episode looked like for me at the time at the start of my BPD recovery journey). I also provide a present day reaction in 2023 – times have surely changed since then.

BPD Triggers for BPD Episodes

Common triggers for BPD episodes can be…

  • Delayed responses
  • Being ignored
  • Short or unmoved responses
  • Being told no
  • Having ideas or suggestions ignored
  • Being left out of a conversation or event
  • Loud noises
  • Being laughed at
  • Unmet needs
  • Disappointing others
  • Unmet expectations
  • Constructive criticism or negative feedback
  • Being proven wrong
  • Separation from Favorite Person
  • Not being kept in the loop
  • Being called out
  • Getting laid off or told to leave
  • Change of plans
  • Not understanding a joke between other people
  • Being replaced
  • Lack of quality time with closest loved ones
  • Traumatic memories
  • Being disagreed with
  • Being ganged up on

Does this mean you should walk on eggshells around someone with borderline personality disorder? No. It doesn’t. However, there are things you can do when saying no to someone with BPD that may help reduce intense emotional responses.

What People with BPD May Feel During a BPD Episode

On top of displaying intense rage, all or nothing thinking or anxious attachment – during BPD episodes, people with BPD may feel the following…

  • Like they’re unimportant, worthless or unlovable
  • Unseen / unheard
  • Overwhelming shame / guilt
  • Paranoia
  • Forgotten
  • Despair
  • Younger than they are
  • Like they don’t exist
  • Like a lost child
  • Numb

Not everyone with BPD is quick to show those feelings. Often, people with BPD will push their loved ones away during these times or they will mask it with rage. Don’t be quick to shut them out while they’re having a BPD episode. What’s happening underneath the surface is more than meets the eye. At the end of the day, people with BPD often do experience emotional empathy and usually, they have an abundance of it. They are capable of giving and receiving love and do not want to hurt their loved ones. What they need is treatment. BPD is a treatable condition, as long as the person is willing to get help.

Read the text version of my BPD episode here.

how to self-manage borderline personality disorder,  Borderline personality disorder self help worksheets
The Self-Love Workbook

This 103 page digital workbook comes with three different PDFs – full color, a version with no color backgrounds, and a black and white version (to save on printing costs). You get access to all three and you can print whichever one works for you!


Each .pdf is capable of being filled in digitally. With Adobe on your desktop computer or on an app like XoDo for your phone, you can type your answers into the .pdf and save your progress without ever needing to print it.

post graphic title that says what happens during a BPD episode (thoughts and feelings recorded)

Audrey Harper is the founder of BPD Beautiful. After years of struggling with undetected BPD—she decided to create an online community that's devoted to helping others with BPD. As a passionate advocate for mental health, Audrey wants to inspire people impacted by BPD to find hope and reach their full potential. She's officially been in remission since 2021.

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