Trigger Warning: Christianity in a favorable light. Read at your own discretion.
It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post—a little over a year, actually. Yikes. I wanted to start this by thanking everyone who has reached out about my blog post, Borderline Personality Disorder and the Church.
The stories I’ve read have touched my heart deeply, and I’m honored that anyone would share their life with me. I’ve been incredibly encouraged by everyone’s words, and I’m so grateful that the Lord is using my story to help others.
Now to the juicy stuff! BPD and Christianity.
People with BPD often get stuck in the “all-or-nothing” thinking. BPD makes finding shades of grey nearly impossible. That’s a huge part of why maintaining healthy relationships is so difficult. As soon as someone we love does something even remotely “bad” (i.e., no response to a text, invalidating our emotions, rejections, disagreements, criticism…you get the point), our view of them changes. It happens instantly against our will. Our adult self doesn’t want this to happen—it makes us sick to our stomach with sadness—but some triggered parts grab the steering wheel from us.
* Note: we all have parts; they’re not exclusive to people with BPD. Research IFS (internal family systems) if you want to know more!
Struggles with BPD at Work
I am confident that my struggles with BPD and work are not personal to me, at least in regards to keeping a job. I’ve never struggled with getting a job. In fact, ironically enough, I’m a talented interviewer (most likely because I’ve had so much practice at it), and getting a job is usually not a problem for me – evidenced by the many jobs I’ve held for a short-term basis.
I’ve been questioning why I struggle so much to hold a position. Questions with the overarching theme of self-doubt and self-shame inevitably fill my mind, threatening to overwhelm me with all the superfluous sentiments of shame, bitterness, and even hatred. A balloon with too much helium will eventually pop. The once thick layer of latex becomes thinner and thinner as more helium is added. Eventually, the wall of latex will be stretched too far, and the balloon will undoubtedly pop. Likewise with my mind. After so many unnecessary paranoid thoughts, I eventually will pop too.
The following post was originally posted on Psychreg
Writers with BPD
“For people with Borderline Personality Disorder, expressing themselves artistically can be an outlet for dealing with emotional instability, managing emotions, learning to see the world in a palette of colors (rather than in black and white), finding creative solutions to problems, and thinking outside the box. In this personal essay, I would like to shed light on how positive characteristics of the borderline trait such as intensity and passion, creativity, high sensitivity, and reactivity have been the driving force behind my career as a writer and help me to write profound and visceral articles for an audience that does not stop growing: a mental health audience!
After a series of misdiagnoses, as Borderline Personality Disorder can also have comorbidities such as depression and anxiety, I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 38. Under the guidance of my psychiatrist, I got to know Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, a psychotherapeutic approach indicated for people with high emotional dysregulation.
In this video, I read my first ever blog post from 2019 detailing what a BPD episode looked like for me at the time at the start of my BPD recovery journey). I also provide a present day reaction in 2023 – times have surely changed since then.